A over a month ago, I travelled back to America for work. In doing so, I subjected myself to a plethora of films that ranged dramatically in quality. In the next few paragraphs, I'd like to share that experience with you in as short and painless a way as possible.
As a side note, I would like to mention that my memories of the trip are fairly fuzzy and I don’t really recall the order in which I watched these movies. I’m not sure that the order matters but there you have it.
Furthermore, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for the delay on this post. It took me a lot longer than I expected to actually sit down and finish it.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
I should be honest that I had no real interest in watching this movie as a stand-alone property. Until this movie debuted, I had watched all of the X-Men movies. When this was released, I decided to give it a pass. While I like Hugh Jackman in general terms, I have never really responded to the Wolverine character. After watching this movie during my flight, I realize that I should have left well-enough alone. I should never have watched this terrible monstrosity. It starts benign enough with Wolverine working as a government agent and quickly escalates to a complete cluster-fuck. Things just happen in this movie and I have no idea why. It starts kind of slow and ends as a tornado of animal feces and pain.
X-Men: Days of Future Past
I was actually looking forward to watching this movie when I got on the plane. I had pretty good hunch that it would be available and I missed seeing it while it was in theaters in Japan. Sadly, I was pretty disappointed with the whole affair. It wasn’t a bad movie but it wasn’t spectacular either. In a lot of ways, it seems like they’ve decided to double-down on wolverine and slowly start phasing out all of the other x-men. We get the younger versions of some the characters throughout the movie but we don’t really get to see much of anything. None of the characters are particularly capable in this rendition so the action sequences read a little limp. Additionally, our primary antagonists motivations are suspect at best and completely baffling at worst. On the other hand, the movie did a decent job of putting a bow on the x-men movie franchise and I kind of hope that they leave it at that.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
This movie is a sort of in-human nightmare that bores into the brain and seems to go on forever. I assume that the movie was originally crafted by Zues as a punishment for Sisyphus and later discarded as too cruel. I don’t know how long the movie is but from my personal perspective it seemed to be about 12 hours long. During that time nothing happens and that nothingness is not even remotely funny. I found the original Anchorman fairly funny but this is nothing more than a pale re-animated corpse in comparison. I legitimately have nothing nice to say about the film. Nothing happens and it seems to take an eternity to not happen.
21 Jump Street
This movie was a pretty enjoyable experience. It wasn’t the best comedy I’ve ever seen but it certainly wasn’t the worst. The premise is a little hackneyed but it was used to decent effect. The real stand-out performances in the movie come from Channing Tatum and Ice Cube. Throughout the film, they both do a good job of committing to their performances and help to elevate the film about the crap that it could have been. On the other hand, Jonah Hill was entirely too annoying and really prevented the film from being completely enjoyable. He spent the entire movie Jonah Hilling around and making me want to turn the movie off. It’s a strange experience to completely enjoy half of a film and hate the other half based solely on which actor has his mouth open at the time. And yet, I assume that’s how many people experienced this film. I suggest considering it a strange experiential experimental art piece designed to confuse your emotions.
22 Jump Street
This film is set up as a joke at the end of the first film. I don’t know if the intention to create the second film existed when the first was released but it doesn’t really seem like it was. It seems like 21 Jump Street made a lot of money and a bunch of executives decided to ride this wave all the way into the jagged rock-laden beach. The plot of the second movie feels even more like it was thrown together at the last second than the first movie. While the police department’s “plan” in the first movie is suspect at best, the “plan” in the second movie is completely pointless. It would seem that the writers had never heard of non-traditional students. Considering the quality of the writing, perhaps a little personal research would be in order. As with the first film, the acting performance of Jonah Hill is despicable and upsetting. Unlike the first film, Channing Tatum and Ice Cube do not shine nearly as bright and are unable to keep the whole affair afloat. The result is a film that I enjoyed much less than 21 Jump Street and is only funny for the running jokes carried over from that film.