In the deep recesses of my memory are random lines from songs I heard as a child, for your enjoyment I'm spending the evening finally trying to Google them in an undoubtedly vain attempt to excise them from my brain. Because of where I came from these are all Contemporary Christian Music. I'm sorry.
I actually own this album on vinyl, ran across it at a thrift store and couldn't resist, but I've still not listened to my copy. This Means War! came out in 1987 when I was two years old. It is objectively not the best song about Satan, even within -- especially within? -- the hair metal genre. Petra is a perfectly passable example of a genre I have little interest in now, or even really then, but it was Christian so I heard it.
Christian music dynasty band Newsboys have been around since the 80's and they probably don't want you to dwell too long on that fact and instead think about how they appeared in the movie God's Not Dead. Their third album, Boys Will be Boyz came out in 1991 when I was six, and many of songs from it could be featured on this list, but this one wins out because not only do I constantly remember the chorus, but I also think about the video a lot, particularly the statuesque bassist. For the most part the song really isn't that bad, at least until the hip-hop breakdown from drummer Peter Fuller who would later become lead singer after John James left in 1997 until 2009 when Fuller handed the reins off to dcTalk's Michael Tait.
Speaking of dcTalk, its important to note that despite the song "I Love Rap Music" being stuck in my head since it was released on their 1990 sophomore release Nu Thang for more of my life this was the closest thing to rap I'd actually heard. If I'd been at all familiar with the genre I'd have recognized that the visuals for this video are entirely lifted from Will Smith's Parents Just Don't Understand. The James Brown line is actually kind of clever, so I'll forgive myself for remembering it more readily than anything the Godfather of Soul actually produced himself. I shouldn't. But I will.
Oh goodness, Carman. Just...just watch this.
Watch this and remember that Carman at one point had the most profitable music Kickstarter campaign in the website's history -- it's still third.
There was a time -- and perhaps this still exists and I am just thankfully apart from it -- that psychiatry and mental health therapy in general were seen as evil incarnate within certain sects of Christianity. No doubt partially to blame is that the popular conception of psychotherapy is still Freudian which dovetails nicely with the conservative Christian aversion of all topics sex and sex-adjacent. In any case, being a Christian was supposed to mean that you took all your problems to the Lord in prayer and not to doctors? I realize there are Christian groups that forego all medical treatment, but the anti-psychology bent exists even in sects that would readily go to a hospital if they had, say, cancer. Of course even outside of Christianity there is a stigma against mental health issues as not diseases but personal shortcomings, which compounds into even more dangerous territories when those perceived shortcomings get called "sin". Three cheers for victim blaming.
Anyway, all that aside, I'm still not entirely sure that Julie Miller's My Psychiatrist from her debut album Meet Julie Miller is meant to be serious or satirical. The other songs on the album aren't quite as patently silly as this one, so there's hope. Nonetheless, 8 year old Adam sure didn't understand satire anyway. Luckily I only remember the chorus.
Miller is still performing, and honestly isn't that bad. She's even collaborated with Emmylou Harris, so there's that. It also may be worth noting that apparently an earlier (synth pop?) version of My Psychiatrist exists with different lyrics on a 1985 demo tape, but I can't find it. Let's give Julie the benefit of the doubt, but also let's hope I never think about this song again.